Eh?

 “So, where are you from?”

A common enough question, at least in a sane world, but becoming increasingly problematic given the seemingly ever-increasing global turmoil.

Like one heck of a lot of retirees my wife and I had envisioned doing some traveling in our ‘golden years’ (whatever that means) and so far we’ve been moderately successful save for brief interruptions from things like COVID. We often get asked the question of where we’re from out of most folks natural curiosity or simply as a conversation starter. Innocent enough on the surface  but more challenging than ever to honestly answer. Why? What’s wrong with simply saying “We’re from Denver, Colorado!”? The short answer is that it immediately shares our nationality - American. 

Years ago we were on a trip that stopped briefly in Nicaragua that to put it mildly has had an interesting relationship with the good ole’ U.S.of A and were told that if asked where we were from we probably didn’t want to acknowledge our true country of origin. So, just like that, I became Canadian, eh. If anyone pressed, especially since I don’t really sound Canadian, I was from Vancouver, just across the border from Seattle. Point being that most Nicaraguans are perhaps not up on their Canadian geography and more importantly Canadian accents to truly know what someone from the beautiful city of Vancouver actually sounds like. 

Why Canadian? Well, most folks like Canadians and for the last couple of centuries Canada hasn’t dominated global happenings and all the political and military baggage that comes along with that. Simply put, Canadians are usually not a target when traveling. Americans are. 

This Spring, while on a cruise in the Caribbean, I was again asked the “where you from?” question. I thought I’d try the “Canada, eh” response and see if I was any more successful at convincing this nice Antiguan (or whatever the proper designation is for someone from the paradise that is the island of Antigua) than I had been with the Nicaraguans. Now, he didn’t immediately tell me that I didn’t sound Canadian. Instead, what he did tell me, was that I didn’t look Canadian. Hmmmm. My travel advisor hadn’t trained me on how to look Canadian or conversely, not look American. Stereotypes aside, what does a Canadian look like? I mean, granted I’ll never be confused with Wayne Gretzky, but can you tell that William Shatner, Michael Fox, and Justin Bieber (and many more very famous and accomplished people) are all from the Great White North just by looking at them? 

We were in Morocco last year, the city of Marrakech to be specific. Depending on the political climate at any given time Americans might or might not be welcome in this beautiful country at the northern tip of Africa. Wandering the streets of the old town we were approached by two young men who, speaking English, wanted to take us on a tour (notwithstanding the fact that we were already on a tour!). I pretended not to understand them and inevitably when they asked, in English, where I was from, I immediately proclaimed “Deutschland!” (Germany) and in my best 7th grade German asked them “sprechen sie deutsch?” (Do you speak German?). They didn’t buy my being German any more than the Nicaraguans or Antiguans bought my being Canadian, eh, Fortunately our Moroccan Tour Guide (did I mention that we were already on a tour?) intervened and we were on our merry way. 

All this is a long way of getting to the fact that we are scheduled to head to Europe in December to take one of the trips on our retirement bucket list (“bucket list, eh!” - see… I really can pass for Canadian!) and with the state of world affairs are starting to recognize that once again we may well be persona non grata (unwelcome) based on our nationality. As our State Department points out: Due to increased tensions in various locations around the world, the potential for terrorist attacks, demonstrations or violent actions against U.S. citizens and interests, the Department of State advises U.S. citizens overseas to exercise increased caution. Meaning don’t stand out in the way you look or sound. If our travel history and my laughable efforts is any guide that will be easier said than done.

Anyhoo (as one of my former coworkers used to say), I thought I’d share a short video of a trip we did this Fall much closer to home where no one asked us where we were from. Granted it was only a couple of miles from where we live but the bottom line is that it was a glorious Fall day to get out and see the autumn colors from a different perspective. While you watch the video I’m going to be busy digging through my closet to find my toque (stocking hat) that proves I’m from beautiful Banff, Canada, eh!

Never have to touch your shoes again!

I was waking up this morning to a cup of hot tea, warm oatmeal with fresh blueberries, and my local paper. I don’t often read the physical print edition anymore having subscribed to the digital version some years back. But, just like with books, I love the tactile sensation of turning a physical page of a newspaper so when the Denver Post offered a deal giving digital subscribers the print edition of the Sunday Post at no cost I was excited to again lay my hands on some actual newsprint.

I know the Post didn’t make this offer out of the goodness of their corporate heart. This time of year, heading into the Christmas gift-giving season, the savvy minds at the Post knew they had to get the Sunday ad supplement in front of the eyeballs of subscribers and since digital only readers probably skip the ad section entirely this seemed like a good way to do it. Used to be that the ad supplement this time of year was thicker than the actual newspaper and I admit to actually enjoying browsing through the ads seeing what was hot and what was not for the upcoming Yuletide season. Nowadays advertisers have too many other options to divert your attention so even with this latest promotion the ad supplement as well as the newspaper itself remain woefully thin. 

Still, amidst the stories about doom and gloom that seem to be what our world is all about these days, one advertiser did successfully catch my eye and no, it wasn’t because of the two attractive and young models who seemed somewhat at odds with the message of the ad. Skechers, which bills itself as “The Comfort Technology Company” shares the tough task, like all shoe companies, of continually coming up with something new so that their CEO’s and CFO’s don’t have to go into their quarterly earnings calls sweating bullets. The ad that caught my eye this morning didn’t so much tell me what their ‘new’ product would do for me as it bragged about what I wouldn’t have to do if I spent my hard-earned money on their newest offering. Like, not bending over. Like, not touching my shoes. Like, no kidding. Now Skechers didn’t invent the slip-on shoe (or as they are marketing it - the “slip-in”) which has been around Like, Forever. But they have brought not having to do anything to do something to a new, and I would argue, lower level. “Putting on your shoes has never been easier. No bending over. No pulling them on. No hassles.” In short - “Effortless Comfort”  can be yours for only $75-$90 (yeah, I looked up the price on their website).

I know, I know - there are many among us who on any given morning roll out of bed and wonder how we are going to face another day let alone deal with the aches and pains that make bending over and touching shoes sometimes problematic. But see, here’s the thing. The two attractive and young models didn’t look the type who would have any issue at all in bending over to touch their shoes. In fact they looked fresh out of a Yoga class where contortions like ‘Downward Facing Dog’ and ‘Happy Baby’ feature prominently. In fact, they looked like they were headed for a Lululemon photo shoot and somehow took a wrong turn and ended up hawking footwear products that allow you to “Go Hands Free”. 

And what about the fine (and perhaps soon to be lost) art of shoelace tying? How will our kids ever become functional adults if they never learn “Loop, Swoop, and Pull!”? We’ve already lost kids being taught how to write in script and now this? If I wanted to be really snarky I’d say that Skechers is contributing to the ruination of our future leaders but I’ll pass since our current leaders can’t seem to walk and chew gum at the same time which is in itself another long-lost art.

Meanwhile, somewhere back in reality-land my better half and I just returned from back East where we rode our bicycles from Pittsburgh to Washington D.C. along the Great Allegheny Passage and the C&O Canal Towpath. And yes, there was much bending over and touching of shoes. No kidding. It’s trips like this that I hope will allow me to be able to tie my own shoes for many years to come. The video below shares some of our snapshots from the trail. We rode the route with a group of 12 through a company called Wilderness Voyageurs which as far as I know is making no claims other than offering great cycling vacations across the U.S. And our two guides Rachel and Jodie ably guided this group of shoe-tying bender-overs through three States and the District of Columbia. 

Oh, and one more thing - did you notice the footwear on the model on the right? What does it feature? Tied Shoelaces!!! Score one for some factory worker somewhere who apparently still knows how to “Loop, Swoop, and Pull”.