There's a whole lot of S*#% out there...

I'm getting tired of this S*#%. Everywhere I look nowadays its S*#%, S*#%, and more S*#%. And its not just in my neighborhood - there's S*#% from coast to coast. In my neck of the woods the  S*#% is really getting deep. I mean, you're starting to need a shovel to handle all the S*#% out there. How much more of this S*#% are we going to have to put up with? You just can't seem to get away from it. I close my eyes and open them and there it is - S*#% all over the place. I'd cuss at all this S*#% but it's already a four-letter word. 

What's a person to do? Even the newscasters are getting fed up with all the S*#% around us. Heck, it takes up most of the newscast. Enough already. I'm sick and tired of getting dumped on with all this S*#%. The S*#% so deep its going to give me a hernia. Thank God it's New Years. Maybe in 2023 we'll all have to deal with less S*#% than all the nasty 2022 S*#%.

I'm old enough that I've dealt with my share of S*#%. Starting at a young age I quickly realized that too much of anything isn't necessarily good and that's especially true when it comes to S*#%. You deal with a pile of S*#% and before you can say Gesundheit there's more where that came from. Make no mistake, even watered down all this S*#% still makes for a heck of a mess.

Here's my New Years Resolution: come 2023 I'm done with all this S*#%. I'm going to pack it in a box and send it to Florida where, like, they don't have enough S*#%. Maybe it'll help all the palm trees grow. I hear S*#% is as good as fertilizer and Heaven knows, Colorado has plenty to spare. Maybe I can market it on Amazon though shipping S*#% might be a problem. And here's the latest S*#% joke - whats the difference between Southwest Airlines and S*#%? .......S*#% is airborn. 

And if all this S*#% doesn't disappear come Springtime, come on by. My aim's improving and you might get clobbered up side the head with a big 'ole ball of S*#%. 

For those out there who might be offended with all this talk of S*#%, take my advice. Head for the Colorado High Country where they manufacture S*#% by the truckload, strap on your S*#% skis, mortgage your house for a ski ticket, and go make S*#% Angels in all this bleeping S*#%. Best hurry though, they're forecasting another S*#% storm come next week.

Happy S*#%-y New Year.

Of Merriness and Dainty Paws

 HO, HO, HO.  

O.K., that's the last time in this post I'll do my Santa impression. The LOML (Love of My Life) and I took a jaunt to Manitou Springs yesterday because the blizzard that's been socking the rest of the country missed us in Denver completely, it was a beautiful and sunny December day, and because, well, we really enjoy the little town of Manitou Springs ("Oh Little town of Manitou Springs..." -nah, doesn't have the same ring to it). Mind you, a nice day in December - at least this one - is still pretty dern cold. Add in the wind and you can bet your booties (more on booties later) that when we stopped in Palmer Lake to give the pups a nature break we did not embrace the season with a leisurely stroll around said lake. And God love the wind-blown ice fisherman sitting out in the middle of the pond (he wasn't HO, HO, HO'ing either).

HO, HO, HO.

We could have taken the Interstate and gotten to Manitou Springs minutes earlier but what the hay, I'm retired, the wife's retired, and the back road from Sedalia south on State Highway 105 is one of our favorite strips of pavement anywhere in the good 'ole U.S. of A. We've biked  this route too many times to count on the now-defunct Elephant Rock ride and whether you're on a bike or snuggled up in a warm car it takes you through some beautiful countryside out in the you know, country. Out in the country is getting harder and harder to find in my neck of the woods (or more accurately my neck of the prairie) and as we rolled through the still quaint town of Palmer Lake we had only to look around at all the new homes being built to sense that this much-loved drive's days are numbered.

Speaking of numbered days, its the 351th day of the year as I write this. Only 14 rotations of our big globe left in 2022. And what a year its been. Of course, we say that about every year as we bid it adieu. Some years we add "good riddance", other years we'll fondly miss, though those have been as scarce as finding real countryside recently. Speaking of countryside, Highway 105 rolls by some spectacular vistas, some

natural, some man-made. We had to stop and take pictures of the Santa haybales and the red Christmas truck, both of which would brighten even the Grinch's day.

South of Palmer Lake its back onto I-25, that wonderful conveyor belt of humanity creeping along at 15 mph that stretches from Wyoming (and beyond) down to New Mexico and climes not featuring below zero wind chill. Colorado Springs, which is on the way to Manitou Springs, now brags of a rush hour to rival Denver's and our timing was good enough that we were able to partake. HO... nope, not going to do it. Anyway, we eventually arrived in Manitou Springs which is nestled at the base of Pikes Peak. In fact, its from here that you can catch the Broadmoor Manitou & Pikes Peak Railway that will whisk you to the 14,115 ft. summit which as I write this is a balmy 9.8 degrees (Fahrenheit for my Celcius friends in the rest of the world). And yes, the train runs year round but for our trip on this day we had lower, much lower, aspirations.

Merry Whatever...

Manitou Springs is a tourist mecca in warmer weather and as such has joined the growing list of communities that have discovered that visitors will gladly (some less gladly than others) pay for parking. Gotta say, these new parking kiosks do make it far easier to fork over $10 for five hours than the old coin-operated ones that people hated so much. And they even remind you via text when your time is about to expire and I believe you can even add more time without making the long walk back to your vehicle though I did not avail myself of this wonderful convenience on this trip. 

Having worked up an appetite, what with all the driving and freezing, the LOML and I went in search of sustenance that would have to sustain us for the upcoming shopping extravaganza that I knew awaited us. If you are a burger afficionado and have been to Manitou Springs you may have eaten at the Border Burger Bar  which features a seemingly endless array of - wait for it - burgers that are really yummy (I could have gone with delicious but yummy better fits). I had a veggie burger covered in green chile and aioli sauce and gluten free bun with some of the best sweet potato fries anywhere while my LOML indulged in the Alaskan Salmon burger which strangely features a Norwegian salmon fillet but is delicious (yummy) nonetheless. It was all good enough that I could have taken pictures but I was really busy, like, eating.

With tummies full it was time to explore the wonderful world of unique retail that is Manitou Springs. Don't bring your Kohls Cash and their isn't a Target or Walmart within spitting distance but rest assured your money is perfectly good here. I know because the LOML put it to the test almost everywhere in this small town (which all of a sudden wasn't seeming to be so small). But one of the stores offered fudge so it was all good. 

Mr. Bentley sans boots and snow

Our two pups got in the act as well and particularly liked Gigi's Animal Lovers Gift Shop (I'd link it but couldn't find that they have an actual website (!really?) though they get 4 1/2 Stars on Yelp). It was in this particular establishment that our booty tale continues. Our pups are Siberian (or as we like to say - Suburban) Huskies who give the LOML a run for her money in my heart. One is named Yukon and the other is Mr. Bentley (why there is a Mr. in there is a whole 'nother blog) and both compete for the MSCOTFOTP Trophy (Most Spoiled Canine On The Face Of The Planet). They came into our hearts as rescue pups about eight or nine years ago and have been stealing the show ever since. 

Anywho... (as one of my former coworkers used to say), Mr. Bentley loves his walks and as a card-carrying Husky he dearly loves the snow. Only problem is he gets ice balls in his paws which really cramp his style. Gigi's has a doggy boot selection to rival Boot Barn so a good chunk of my five-hour parking allotment was spent with a very helpful clerk trying on every type of doggie boot known to dogkind. Small to Extra-large, in every conceivable color, dog boots are now a 'Thing' which is good because I didn't want to have made the three hour round trip from home for nothing. Fortunately Mr. B found a pair that tickled his fancy so the LOML happily handed over the rest of Her/She/Our money and we were merrily on our way. Mind you, it hasn't actually snowed in my neck of the prairie in more than a month, but better to be prepared. I guess.

After all, 'tis the season to share glad tidings - comfort and joy and all that - so I'll wrap up with wishing you Happy Holidays and Merry Whatever (hey, I'm woke enough to let you fill in the blank). On the 359th day of 2022 me and mine will be celebrating the big 'C' but as they say, whatever trims your particular tree is fine by me and I hope it finds you and yours safe and happy. I'll leave you with a short Holiday video of another shopping excursion the LOML and I had taken recently to the equally wonderful retail destination of Golden, Colorado. Best of all, though this was a shopping excursion, there's not a shop to be seen in the video. Though there was fudge. HO, HO...